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What is patter?
Apart from being something rain does especially when being onomatopoeically
combined with a 'pitter' the dictionary tells us this:
| Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc. |
However
the dictionary does give the impression that patter is a lot of talk with
no real meaning designed by the street peddler or magician to merely confuse
an audience. For the serious entertainer this is of course not true. Patter
has to be interesting, funny and well-informed. For although it is true, in
the magicians case, that his patter is designed to draw peoples attention
away from any false moves or sleights he may be performing if his patter was
not up to scratch it wouldn't hold people's attention to distract them appropriately.
When working with balloons your patter is what you say while you prepare to
make a model,while you blow up the balloon, while you make a model,while you
present it etc. Good patter will hold an audiences attention, entertain on-lookers,
control crowds and generally give you the reputation of a quality entertainer.
Using patter in your act.
Some of you may be worried that you are not funny enough or won't be able
to think up enough to say. Fear not, although a performer may look like they've
got so many interesting and funny things to say that one may presume they
have been overly intimate with the Blarney Stone in most cases it is not just
coming out of the top of their head. Like most things in life patter has to
be learned and practiced.
If you are going to be performing a show or routine with balloons. Make sure
you have exactly what you are going to say written down and learned. You may
think well I'll say something like this then something about this and ad-lib
the rest. You are much wiser learning your routine exactly and then you will
be able to ad-lib or alter your routine with confidence.
If you are doing line work or strolling balloon modelling your patter will
have to appear off-the-cuff and relate to the situation. The way to do this
is to learn a large selection of patter lines for lots of different circumstances
and string them all together. For example if you learn patter lines regarding
to the colour of balloons, lines for the models you are creating and lines
for different children of different ages then when asked by a eight year-old
girl for a green poodle you will be able to string lines about green balloons,
poodles and little girls altogether into a continuous line of patter:
"A poodle, isn't that what you step in when it's been raining cats and
dogs? and remember since he's a green poodle only feed him unleaded dog biscuits.
Do you promise to look after him? How old are you? Eight. What a coincidence
I was eight when I was your age. Well this poodle's only six so don't be bullying
him"
For complete routines view the free routines section
of the site .
Classic
lines
Over the years some patter lines have been shared by entertainers all over
the world due to the fact that they always attain the desired reaction.
You'll
notice as I make this model my hands never leave my arms.
You:There you go a beautiful flutterby
Child: you mean butterfly
You: I know but I can't say butterfly
(This next line is supposed to be a bit of nonsense but since the advent of
a Mr J. Springer you get some weird replies.It's written for a male performer
talking to a girl but obviously it can be changed for female performers talking
to boys)
You: What's your name?
Girl:Susan
You: Ah, that was my name when I was a girl.
You: How old are you?
Child: 6
You: What a coincidence, I was six when I was your age.
You: What class are you in?
Child:P5
You: Aah, P5, the happiest four years of my life.
I like to make balloon animals because the twisty squeaky noises scare away
elephants. Yes, I know there are no elephants around here, it works really
well doesn't it.
When asked "Can I have a balloon for my little brother?"
"Sounds like a fair swap" is a good reply.
Balloon
HQ the balloon entertainer or decorater's resource has a large collection
of classic lines
Lines For sculptures
Check
out the patter section in Balloon
HQ this has a line for nearly any model. The list was compiled from entertainers
all over the world. I first came across BalloonHQ searching for new patter
lines and have been using their "Don't suck your head in" line for getting
balloon hats the right size ever since.
Writing your own lines for various animal models could not be easier as there
are a plethora of animal jokes already in existence.
Dogs
Yuck, this balloon smells of onions it must be a hot dog
Talking of hot-dogs did you hear about the Budhist monk who walked up to the
hot-dog vendor and said " Make me one with everything"
Use a Magic Pipe to put a watch in someone's balloon and call it a watch-dog
What is the other name for a sausage dog?
Daschund
Bless you
This dogs a terrible dancer...he has two left feet.
Teddy Bears
It's easy to make one of these you only have to know the bear essentials
I saw a bear once..a bear bum
(I don't usually go for the cheeky jokes but this can work well for the right
kids if you clasp your hand to your mouth in fake horror after you say it)
This bear is Daddy bear. Do you know the story?
"Who's been eating my porridge?" squeaked Baby Bear.
"Who's been eating my porridge?" cried Mother Bear
Burp!" said Daddy Bear.
This is Waterloo Bear...
...he got off at the wrong station
Here's a bear and rabbit joke you could use to accompany the making of both
animals.
It's a silly story but kids like it (and so do georges)
Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be exact. On one side
of the river lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear. One fine
day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfest of berries. Then
he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit.
''Hey! Hey, Teddy, get yourself over here. I've got something to show you!''
''Not now! I'm eating.''
''Oh come on!'' said the rabbit. ''It's really important.''
''No way.''
''Please. It's urgent.''
So the bear decided to go all the way over the wide river. It took him all
day and all night to get over to the other side. He nearly drowned. And when
he finally got there he was groaning and panting, and wheezing for air.
''Well, rabbit,'' he panted. ''What did you want to tell me?''
''Hey, Teddy,'' the rabbit began, ''look how many berries are on the other
side of the river.''
Birds
I've made you a parrot. I was going to make one sitting on a Perch but I heard
you don't like fish
Incidentally, do you know what's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot
Swans can be accompanied by the classic Spike Milligan poem
Down the stream the swans all glide
It's quite the cheapest way to ride.
Their legs get wet,
Their tummies wetter
I think after all
The bus is better
Hats and Headgear
I told this hat to wait behind but it wanted to go on ahead.
From bhq...I need to get a true size for this hat so don't suck your head
in.